


Reflection of the Moon

by Yurika



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9258593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yurika/pseuds/Yurika
Summary: A biting white was what greeted him every day at this hospital room. White, more white, it was killing him inside.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey readers!!!
> 
> This is a rather interesting scenario I wrote for a friend of mine [(visit his tumblr page here)](http://dweebcakes.tumblr.com/).  
> He gave me this idea when I was in the mood for angst so yeah!
> 
> Here we go!

A biting white was what greeted him every day at this hospital room. White, more white, it was killing him inside. He was not allowed out of bed, was already tired of seeking out some conversation with people that were assigned to his room. They left soon after. Some of them died, some were released. Just he though, he remained where he was, bound to his bed, suffering through another day of white and dull and dead. 

He closed his eyes. Wished that the nurses were at least once in their lives nice enough to bring him outside on a wheelchair so that he could get a glimpse of some green, feel the sun on his skin, smell the scent of a new day, freed from his bed. However, never would that be the case, at least if he even were to be taken outside, it would be tense and brief, just so that he could have a 'healthy' life. What life, there was none of it left, none at all. He would never get out of here alive.

"Hello."

He opened his eyes, this was a voice he heard for the first time...

"I was told, this will be my room, but the nurses don't seem to be here?"

"I don't know. I wasn't informed."

"Oh, I'm sorry." A smile flashed over the other's face. "I'm Makoto Tachibana by the way."

"Sousuke Yamazaki."

"Nice to meet you."

Sousuke didn't even have the chance to answer. Honestly he didn't really want to anyways. The nurse came into the room. They began talking and he learned soon that Makoto was really going to stay in his room but he, well, never got to hear what his problem was. His legs seemed to work contrary to Sousuke's which meant he could at least go outside when he was bored, see the sun, feel the wind. Somewhat Sousuke was jealous. He wouldn't admit it, though.

The day was nearing its end until this Makoto guy settled down.

"Sorry for the troubles I caused while settling in." There was a warm smile on his lips Sousuke noticed soon. He turned his gaze away quickly, when he realized how a blush was creeping up on him. Who could blame him? It had been a long time since somebody smiled so nicely towards him.

"It's okay." He rasped out, not talking much really did take a toll on his voice as it seemed.

Then silence fell upon them, nothing weird, normally that is, but right then somehow it felt rather off to not talk. He observed Makoto from the rims of his eyes, he wasn't moving as he lay in his bed and stared at the opposing wall.

"How are you?" Weird question to ask, they were in a hospital.

"I'm feeling quite well actually." Again that smile. Sousuke caught himself smiling back. "How about you?"

"No pain today."

"I see, that's good."

Then silence enveloped them again. How did people even find things to talk about? Sousuke looked out of the closed window. He wished they'd leave it open from time to time, he liked to listen to the rustling bushes and trees, and the wind. It reminded him of his days before he had to stay in this damned hospital.

"Do you want me to open the window?"

Sousuke's head snapped back to Makoto.

"I mean, I- Sorry. That was weird to ask."

"No. It would be nice actually." Sousuke replied quickly, had Makoto noticed that he couldn't stand up?

"How did you know?"

"Hm?"

"That I am unable to stand up..."

"Oh. It was actually, because you rather made an angry face instead of just leaving the room."

Sousuke's eyes widened he was about to mumble an apology when he heard Makoto laugh. It was such a nice laugh.

"No need to apologies. There the window is open now. Tell me when I should close it." Again he was smiling. Why was he smiling all the time?

Sousuke nodded as a response and just returned to staring out the window. It really was nice to hear and smell what was outside. He closed his eyes shortly and dwelled on these feelings, before he opened them again and watched the stars and soon noticed that Makoto was still standing at the window. The weak shine of the moon was giving Makoto's skin a pale look, he nearly looked like a ghost the way he stood, unmoving. No, not a ghost, a marble statue, proud but cold, an unmoving nostalgic face was plastered over his features.

Sousuke swallowed as he just observed. The reflected light of the moon was probably the perfect way to describe their lives from now on. It would only be a reflection of an actual life, just a lie just as in a mirror, they would never face the true shine of life ever again. He breathed in deep and out. Makoto turned right then towards him with a smile. The shine now made his nice look distorted, as if it was not supposed to be there.

"Beautiful."

Sousuke's eyes widened, why would he say that when looking directly at him? Sousuke swallowed hardly.

"The night."

Of course the night. Sousuke still swallowed though, he just could nod as an answer.

"It's getting cold, no?"

Again Sousuke just nodded, still not taking his eyes away from Makoto. It may have been weird but fuck it, he was a dead man walking, he was allowed to make mistakes.

"Sousuke, was it not?"

"Yes." His voice as raspy as ever.

"Let's be friends."

Sousuke looked onto his lap, why would he suggest that right now? Why would he want a new friend when both of them knew what awaited them? Wouldn't that make them hurt more? His heart though was pounding to his ears with excitement, he looked up and smiled as he answered.

"Yes."

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

They talked about their illnesses once, then never again, they really didn't need to to know that both of them wouldn't walk out of here alive. Sousuke clenched his teeth. It would be a rather weak race of who would die first to leave the other to grief. His eyes wandered to Makoto's bed, he was still sleeping. Sousuke had this sometimes, sometimes there was pain in his every limb and he woke up, he didn't scream though, being used to it prevented him at this point. He saw Makoto stirring in bed from the side of his eyes.

"Good Morning."

"Morning." His voice was always so deep just right after waking up, it made Sousuke's heart pound even louder and harder.

"How are you?"

"Am okay."

It was also adorable how he wasn't so controlled and formal while talking when he just woke up or was about to sleep.

"And you?"

"I'm okay." He smiled.

Makoto was stretching in his bed before standing up to go to toilet. Then he was back again.

"Want to grab some breakfast?"

There was a buffet outside for the patients, Sousuke normally got his breakfast to his room but since Makoto was here, he carted him to the buffet and they ate together. Told stories of their childhood. Funny ones, sad ones, ones that made them angry still. But in the end it was the time they spent together that mattered to Sousuke.

"Yes."

Thus they once again sat there at the buffet and ate. Silence was enveloping them but somehow it was nice, sitting there in silence and feeling at ease with each other. At least Sousuke hoped that Makoto felt them same. It was nice how Makoto made him trust him so fast, yet again there was not much time left of his life, he could trust him, he understood him.

"Let's go out today."

Makoto then suggested suddenly.

"Talk it out with the nurses and hope they will let me take you to the garden instead of them doing it." He grinned before taking a sip of his tea.

Sousuke nodded, it was Makoto who did the most of the talking anyways. Sousuke never had been the talkative type.

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

Lucky enough Makoto was allowed to take him outside. It probably was because he was getting along with the nurses so well after landing here. He was here for some weeks now after all.

They made their way through the garden. The rich green could be seen everywhere. It was soft, it was healthy. Sousuke inhaled deeply, spring. He liked summer better but spring was nice too.

"It's so nice." Sousuke looked up to Makoto. "I love spring."

Sousuke's gaze returned to the flowers in the garden, felt each bump in the ground.

"Hey look there." He followed Makoto's finger. "I bet nobody could see us there."

Without giving Sousuke even the chance to answer or give a comment, Makoto lead him to that spot, and it was true, hidden away from the sight of everyone yet all the more beautiful. The tree that was hiding them was also in full bloom giving the whole scenario a rather fairytale like atmosphere. He looked up to Makoto.

"I like summer better, though." He grinned right after. "I mean you can feel the su-"

Sousuke's eyes widened as he rather felt than saw what just happened, when his eyes finally focused he looked at Makoto's closed ones, but he too soon joined in. Closed his eyes and slung his arms around Makoto's neck. Pulled him in closer. Hoped for him to keep his footing so that they wouldn't topple over. The kiss was soft, yet so desperate. Fleeting yet would linger forever on Sousuke's lips. When they finally pulled away both of them were panting. Makoto straightened up to his full height before letting himself down onto the ground and looking up to Sousuke.

"You know if you could stand you would be taller than me." He grinned.

"That's true." Was Sousuke's reply before he began laughing again. He grabbed Makoto by the front of his shirt and pulled him up for another kiss.

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

They didn't have sex. Obviously they didn't yet it didn’t mean Sousuke didn't desire it every time he looked at Makoto. Every time they kissed. But what they shared was still so much more meaningful than what he had shared with anyone before. Nothing was better than the feelings that Makoto made him feel. Their stolen kisses in a hospital. Even the white of the walls seemed to be less merciless than before. A sigh escaped his lips as he closed his eyes, this was too good to be true, this happiness he felt.

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

The next morning he opened his eyes what greeted him were nurses walking around. The bed next to his was empty. His heart was beating like crazy, fear was making him immobile. When he regained his control he shot up from his bed and walked to one of the nurses. He was looming over them, did in fact not want to scare them but being rather tall made him look a tad bit intimidating at times.

"Where is Sousuke?"

"Who?"

"Uhm... Yamazaki Sousuke."

"Oh..."

There was a lot of silence before the nurse looked up to him again.

"You were his friend, sir?"

"Y-Yes."

"He passed away last night."

"What? But- I mean he was feeling fine the day before..."

"Sit down please, sir."

"He was okay... We went outside, ate some ice cream, we laughed, he laughed!" He looked up to the nurse, as he sat on the bed, he was feeling small, so small. He buried his face between his palms. "Th-" He swallowed. " It can't be true. Tears formed in his eyes.

"Sir, this happens sometimes. He passed away in his sleep, silently, without pain."

The calm voice filled with false empathy was somewhat angering Makoto. He wanted to snap at her, tell her to go away, to not speak to him so calm when everything was really not fine. But he swallowed it down; the anger, the hurt. Because it wouldn't have been fair, he after all knew this could happen any given moment, that everything they shared here was fleeting, could be taken away from them. They had been playing happy couple while being on the run from death. He should've been ready, yet now when it had just so happened, without him even having the time to say goodbye, it felt like death had betrayed him. He breathed shakily.

He needed to get out. And that he did, he walked hastily to their little spot behind trees, as he sunk to his knees sobbing silently for his loss. Things came to his mind. He realised soon that the day before was the last time he saw Sousuke. Nobody knew of what they shared, even if they knew he would've never been allowed to go to the funeral. Makoto hoped that Sousuke at least had passed peacefully, that he had been as happy as he, that this fleeting happiness that was granted to them in this hellhole of death was as meaningful to him as it had been for Makoto.

He sat there crying, the petals of the tree's flowers falling, making it seem like it rained.

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

Makoto surely did talk with everyone else, the new person that now shared a room with him. He was a nice guy, lively at times but nice. It was nice to have him there since he would pull Makoto's dark thoughts towards something else, something new and exciting. At days when he missed Sousuke, this new person'd show him a stupid trick or tell him a story about how he tripped over a stone, it really was wanted and needed distraction.

At night though when everything slept there was noone or nothing that could distract him from his wandering mind. He looked up to the sky questioned them for taking Sousuke from him when he still had to live for so much longer, how much time had it been? Days? Weeks? Months? He wanted to tell them to make Sousuke smile and laugh just as Makoto had finally managed to after days and weeks of trying and talking.

The moon, only one half was to be seen, mirrored what was within his heart. Funny how the rays of sun where bright enough to be reflected from the moon and make even the darkest nights glow in a fairy tale like shine. A mirror, a gate to another world, that was what the moon represented. It was a reflection of what another person felt for someone else. How one’s feelings reflected within another person. It was a gate to another world that was filled with beauty and pain. 

Makoto cast his eyes to his lap and hoped, that he too could pass that gate, maybe meet that someone he so dearly loved. After lying down he closed his eyes, welcoming sleep all too eagerly.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> and also  
> Comments would be nice!


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